sick day

Chas decided that the two words to describe this past weekend were relaxing and productive. We loved it. I loved it so much, in fact, that late last night I started dreading Monday morning...a lot. I kept thinking over and over again how I didn't want it to come and how I just wanted every day to be a weekend day. Chas reminded me that I would probably start hating life after a few days of not working (true) but I still kept stressing about having to wake up early the next morning and start another long week of groups- which, don't get me wrong, I love doing- but sometimes you just need your two-day weekend to be three days. 

So I laid there in bed and couldn't turn off all the thinking and dreading. I got four hours of sleep. In the morning, my tummy hurt. And since I've been known to make myself really, really sick from stress, I decided it would be best to get my groups covered and spend the day resting...and painting.

When Chas comes home I'll ask him to hug me and sing me the Winnie the Pooh song. He does that whenever I need to relax and feel better.

of late

The biggest news of the day is that after almost two months of a bare left ring finger, my ring is back where it belongs. On my left ring finger, that is. The only, and I mean only, downside of a beautiful vintage ring from your husband's darling grandma is that all the prongs were worn down and had to be rebuilt. So we started saving up the monies and, in the meantime, I took it off my finger for safe keeping. A part of me wondered if I would just get used to not wearing a ring again. But I didn't. I don't think a day went by without glancing down at that finger and feeling a little sadness and longing inside myself. But the sparkle is back, my friends. Now I'm looking down and feeling giddy happy. It's so pretty.

Other news of late is that I've been thinking a lot about getting more education. You know, like a PhD. Yikes. Sometimes I think I'm crazy, and I might be just a little bit. There seems to be something inside me that thrives off of constant motion and change. This leads to getting a Master's degree just as I turn 24, being really efficient when I want to, working hard and then harder still, and building courage. All these are good things. What the Energizer Bunny mentality makes difficult is living in the moment. Even when the moment is totally and completely wonderful, I catch myself looking forward to the next big thing, the next challenge. Chas is supportive. He loves me. He encourages me to pray about it and I know he'd be there for me 100% if I decided to take the PhD plunge. So I keep thinking about it, weighing the pros and cons. The thing is, I'm not sure wanting to get a PhD is even really about getting a PhD. I think it's more about ego (let's be honest), proving to myself that I can do it (why do I play this game?), and having a hard time with just being...still. Perhaps therein lies a challenge that is, in some ways, greater than becoming Dr. Kelly. Being 100% present in the here-and-now and living mindfully.  

Oh yeah, and the Beehive Bazaar opens tomorrow night at Thanksgiving Point.