warning: love dove post ahead

This year, there is oh so much I have to be grateful for. And I'm not just saying that. Starting in January, the 30th to be exact, my life has been...basically bliss. And I'm not just saying that, either. The gratitude, the happiness, and especially the bliss is all thanks to January 30th. 

  

So this Thanksgiving, and probably many, many more hereafter, I am thankful for a very happy, very healthy, very blissful marriage. I honestly can't think of anything I would change about Chas or our relationship. And sometimes, when I think it couldn't possibly get any better...it does. I know how rare of a blessing something like this is. I know what it's like on the opposite side of the happy marriage spectrum. And, let me tell you, this marriage, this love, and this life together is worth all it took to get here...a thousand times over.

Do you love me?

I want to write on here more than I have been but, mostly, I just want to write about how happy happy I am. But then I worry that I'd be one of those annoying people who broadcast every bit of perfectly perfect goodness in their lives just to...be annoying. But then I remember that almost no one reads this blog and those who do are people I love and if they're gonna find me obnoxious they've likely already done so by now. I also remembered that I generally don't care what other people think and that it's most important to just be honest in all things. So if I'm feeling like the luckiest wife in the world, then that's how I'm feeling. 

I do really feel insanely happy these days. And when I say "insanely," I use that word mindfully. Because, let's be honest, I work with "insane" every week and know what it looks like and sometimes, I think I might be just the littlest bit insane with love. Just the littlest. Like when I'm clenching my teeth together so hard whenever I see him that I have to remind myself to take it easy because we don't have dental insurance. (I do the same thing when I see a puppy that is so cute I might explode.) Or that one time I was trying to be angry with him but had to close my eyes because when I'd see that cutest face, I couldn't not smile. So frustrating. And then there was a night earlier this week when we were listening to a new Guster song and started dancing in the living room which quickly turned into us holding each other by the arms and jumping up and down together again and again just because we're that crazy happy.

You're dry heaving now. I know. 

Oh well. You love me.

Dear Chas,

I love your guts. Yesterday, I ended up getting called into a full day's worth of work at the hospital and didn't get home until 8:30pm. You greeted me at the door with a twirling hug and announced that dinner was ready. And what had you made? Oh, you know, just the most yummy four-cheese fettuccine alfredo with sauteed mushrooms and fresh, blue cheese salad on the side. No big deal. As we ate, you had me glance around the corner into our bedroom to proudly show me you had made the bed so nicely. All by yourself.

Goodness gracious, you are quite the find, Mr. Kelly.

Dear diary,

Can I just say how much I adore my husband? Because I'm pretty sure I almost happy-cried a few moments ago as I was in his arms, up off the ground (as usual).

I've been working on a painting the last two days, finishing it tonight. And when I say I've been working on it for two days, I mean 5 hours. I don't know how it happened but the stars must have aligned because I pumped that puppy out and it's basically become my most favorite painting. But all that is beside the point. The point is

I love Chas.

Never before have I had someone who is almost as completely invested in my artistic process as I am. He was there every step of the way through this painting. He helped me to keep going when I needed motivation. He was my sounding board as I brainstormed different directions to take the painting. He suggested colors. He encouraged me to keep pushing the art further until it was another and then another step better than it was before. And when it was finished, and I was jumping around the living room in satisfaction/pride, he was right there, jumping and yelling for joy with me. They are all little things, really, but the way he supports me and my art is so...happy.

Please don't think that it's an amazingly amazing masterpiece. Because it's not. But to me, held within it is my love for my husband which makes it even better than all that.