Thursday, April 21, 2011

He takes care of me.

Sometimes I have little moments of sadness. I start thinking about how I want my life to be different, how I want to be doing different things than I am now. I start feeling rather ungrateful and even say some things that I promise I don't mean. 

Last night was like that for me. Mostly, the sadness revolves around wanting so, so much to have a little cryings (code word for baby in Sam&Chas land). I was feeling unrealistically hopeless about things changing. ever. Do you ever feel that way? Like your life is just stuck in a static rut? 

But that's just the thing. In reality, my life isn't stuck or hopeless or sad at all. 
There are things I wish were different, sure. There are things I want desperately, yup. But hopeless and awful? Get real. 
I need to remind myself that I can hope for things I don't have right now, and be totally happy with my present life all at the same time. 

I was sitting, at 11pm, slouched on our couch underneath my little black rain cloud, when Chas suggested we go for a quick walk around the block. 

"Come on, babe. I'm forcing you to go. You just need to get up and out of the house for a bit." 

It. was. just. what. I. needed. 
The sky was dark, we were bundled up warm, the green, green grass smelled of rain, and the street lamps lit up the popcorn popping on the apricot trees ever so gloriously. 
We ended up walking farther than just around the block and even kept going when it started raining. 

I guess sometimes little black rain clouds aren't so bad after all. 


larissa said...

I love this. (Well, not that you're in a rut. Just the way you write. And the end.)

I'm in a rut, too, and my husband makes me go on walks when I'm in a mood. Husbands are the best.

I hope your week looks up <3

Mayce said...

I know the feeling. My sister is feeling that way right now. Things will change and you will have beautiful "cryings" soon enough but for now enjoy Sam and Chas time because it will never be the same after a baby. Being a mom is amazing but it is harder than people tell you. Enjoy your "you" time! Blog, paint, scoot, ect. Easier said than done I know!

Sydney said...

Oh such a pretty post :)
And I agree, sometimes the rain clouds aren't a bad omen.

Natasha Louise said...

I know exactly what you are talking about, I feel this way from time to time, especially in my situation, but then I soon go back to hoping and tell myself to be positive! You have such a cute blog, :)

Natasha Louise

Annton Beate Schmidt said...

Thank you, this was just what I had needed. Though I am still on the couch, spoiling the little cloud, with even more sadness & fighting a silly migrane (some things probably come from the others)... Only reading the lines helped me remembering all the good things and the hope. For tonight, well, be it cloudy, spring is still there tomorrow! Thank you, Sam!

meme-and-he said...

that is a good catch you got yourself there :)

Hilary Grace said...

Best friends (husbands) are great like that, huh? What a sweet sweet story!! I can totally relate to feeling that way.. not specifically about bebehs, but definitely the whole static rut thing. It's unbelievably awesome to have someone there to balance you out and cheer you up when those feelings come on.

ellen said...

I love my Redhead & Balloons print! Thanks for mailing it so quickly. It's on the wall. :)

Maria said...

sometimes I get like that, but thats when I have boyfriend to cheer me up. The rainclouds aren't too bad.

Melissa Stevens said...

This is such a cute post! I love your blog! Consider me your newest follower!

Rachael said...

I totally get what your feeling. It's funny though. I look at couples on blogs (like you guys) or just other people, and think they have the perfect life. But I guess all of us aren't 100% happy all the time, or have everything they want.
It puts things in perspective.
Not that I'm happy that you're having a rough time sometimes! I hope that you'll get what you really want very soon!

the momma-kana said...

what a real and introspective and inspiring post. I really love to read your blog. My mantra is " i can do hard things". and it seems to me that you are made of tough stuff my friend and that good things are surly awaiting you.