Thursday, January 23, 2014

two heroes of mine

i got hit on monday with a horrible head cold. so, so bad. yesterday, i put hero down for her nap and at the very second i was finally able to fall asleep, she woke up. so then i did what i always do in distress: called my mom and started crying. and, with that, my mom told me she'd be right over. she took hero to stay at her place for the rest of the day and that night. i picked her up this afternoon.

i have no clue what i ever did to deserve the mother i have. she is the absolute best in every way. and it's not just me who thinks so. pretty much anyone who's ever had contact with her will tell you what an amazing woman she is and how lucky i am to call her mine and to learn from her always. i marvel at my friends who i know don't have great relationships with their mothers and who are still able to be wonderful, strong, amazing women and mothers themselves. all i know is that i would for sure be lying dead in gutter (and definitely with way less cute household accessories) if it weren't for the love, help, and guidance of my mom. so if you happen to read this, mom, know that i owe so much to you and am grateful for all that you always give without hesitation.

i also wanted to write a little about hero and having her back home tonight with us.

that girl is crazy. in the absolute best way. she is exploding with the funniest personality and is such an immense light in our lives. tonight, for example, she was pretending like she kept running into the walls (daddy only teaches her the best skills), was super adamant on what jammies she wanted to sleep in, more excited to see her favorite tiny pom pom (or "mom mom" as she calls it) than she was to see us, could not stop jabbering on and on about who-knows-what, did a funky little jig every time she took a bite of dinner, and then finally fell asleep so sweetly on chas' shoulder.

and the thing is, she's seriously like that all the time.

even after a full day at disneyland a few weeks ago. we got back to the hotel room, and hero proceeded to sing and dance and jump around on the bed for a solid 20 minutes. laughing like crazy the whole time. who is this kid!?

i don't think either chas nor i can ever fully comprehend the depth of love we feel for our hero girl. it has been such an honor and joy getting to parent her and watch her grow up. each stage has been different and amazing in its own way. and i hope that i can be better at documenting how she grows and develops. i want her to know what a spunky, lovable, and happy girl she's always been and how crazy adorable it is when she says the word "walrus."

Tuesday, January 21, 2014

me & my words

i have a lot of thoughts bouncing around in my head tonight. mostly, the thoughts and rumination were stressing me out. first, my solution was to eat some donuts with chas. which we did. and thoroughly enjoyed. then, immediately after, i had the idea to go to my blog and write. just write. and then i thought, "wow. thanks, donuts, for such a great idea. brain food."

so here i am. back in action on this blog after a long, long hiatus with a few brief posts sprinkled in here and there. but i decided that i need this blog more than i realize. writing out my thoughts helps me and it's important to me. i want my life as a mom and wife to be documented so much more than instagram can offer with a photo and few short sentences. i have ideas and experiences that i want to be thoroughly recorded- with or without a cute photo to accompany the words.

and that's what this is going to be about- at least for a little while. me and my words.

lately, i've found it too easy to get caught up in comparing the highlights of others' lives to the mundane and non-fancy areas of mine. i lose sight of all that i have and have been blessed with and, instead, feel twinges of bitterness and resentment and disappointment. so what if i'm the only person in the universe who isn't going to altsummit this weekend? so what if i don't wear makeup most days and don't have eyelash extensions and my clothes are mostly the same ones i've had for the past two or three years? i have PLENTY of great and wonderful goodness abounding in my life and shouldn't waste one second sneering at those who seem to have more. i need to take a step back and focus more on myself and let whatever is happening around me just happen without me passing judgement or feeling excluded. i can choose to be happy for others instead of comparing.

so that's the backstory on this blog writing resurgence.


and now for some GREAT news:


i've been putting off making this announcement on the blog because i've been wanting to, at the very least, have some kind of fun, unique little way of spilling the beans like we did with hero. but then i realized that i didn't have near enough brain power or desire at the end of the day for something like that and that, at this rate, it might be the week before my due date before i ever mention anything about it so i may as well just get it out there! (i did post a cute little video of hero's reaction to the news of a sibling on instagram @samajama if you're interested. that counts for something, right?!)

so i'm 14 weeks along. thus far, this pregnancy has been a little easier than hero's. i'm into the second trimester now and haven't felt as nauseous. the fatigue comes and goes. mostly, i just want to eat ALL. THE. TIME. i actually kinda love that part about being pregnant. just loving every meal and not being able to wait (so i don't) until the next meal/snack time. we find out the gender in a few weeks. i'm really feeling like it's a boy and chas thinks we're having another girl.

i still can't believe i'm pregnant AGAIN. it seems like pregnancy and giving birth should be a once-in-a-lifetime occurrence. so strange that women do this whole enchilada multiple times! i'm grateful, of course. i know many good friends who struggle with infertility and i can't imagine what that would be like. being able to grow a whole human inside your body is a beautiful gift and i'm incredibly lucky to be able to do so.

well, i think that's all for now. need to make sure there's time to go watch some "shark tank" with the hubs before the night is through.

have a great evening and i'll be back soon! xo