Tuesday, January 21, 2014

me & my words

i have a lot of thoughts bouncing around in my head tonight. mostly, the thoughts and rumination were stressing me out. first, my solution was to eat some donuts with chas. which we did. and thoroughly enjoyed. then, immediately after, i had the idea to go to my blog and write. just write. and then i thought, "wow. thanks, donuts, for such a great idea. brain food."

so here i am. back in action on this blog after a long, long hiatus with a few brief posts sprinkled in here and there. but i decided that i need this blog more than i realize. writing out my thoughts helps me and it's important to me. i want my life as a mom and wife to be documented so much more than instagram can offer with a photo and few short sentences. i have ideas and experiences that i want to be thoroughly recorded- with or without a cute photo to accompany the words.

and that's what this is going to be about- at least for a little while. me and my words.

lately, i've found it too easy to get caught up in comparing the highlights of others' lives to the mundane and non-fancy areas of mine. i lose sight of all that i have and have been blessed with and, instead, feel twinges of bitterness and resentment and disappointment. so what if i'm the only person in the universe who isn't going to altsummit this weekend? so what if i don't wear makeup most days and don't have eyelash extensions and my clothes are mostly the same ones i've had for the past two or three years? i have PLENTY of great and wonderful goodness abounding in my life and shouldn't waste one second sneering at those who seem to have more. i need to take a step back and focus more on myself and let whatever is happening around me just happen without me passing judgement or feeling excluded. i can choose to be happy for others instead of comparing.

so that's the backstory on this blog writing resurgence.


and now for some GREAT news:


i've been putting off making this announcement on the blog because i've been wanting to, at the very least, have some kind of fun, unique little way of spilling the beans like we did with hero. but then i realized that i didn't have near enough brain power or desire at the end of the day for something like that and that, at this rate, it might be the week before my due date before i ever mention anything about it so i may as well just get it out there! (i did post a cute little video of hero's reaction to the news of a sibling on instagram @samajama if you're interested. that counts for something, right?!)

so i'm 14 weeks along. thus far, this pregnancy has been a little easier than hero's. i'm into the second trimester now and haven't felt as nauseous. the fatigue comes and goes. mostly, i just want to eat ALL. THE. TIME. i actually kinda love that part about being pregnant. just loving every meal and not being able to wait (so i don't) until the next meal/snack time. we find out the gender in a few weeks. i'm really feeling like it's a boy and chas thinks we're having another girl.

i still can't believe i'm pregnant AGAIN. it seems like pregnancy and giving birth should be a once-in-a-lifetime occurrence. so strange that women do this whole enchilada multiple times! i'm grateful, of course. i know many good friends who struggle with infertility and i can't imagine what that would be like. being able to grow a whole human inside your body is a beautiful gift and i'm incredibly lucky to be able to do so.

well, i think that's all for now. need to make sure there's time to go watch some "shark tank" with the hubs before the night is through.

have a great evening and i'll be back soon! xo


Janssen said...

So happy to see you blogging again - you are one of my favorites.

Jenn said...

Congrats on sweet baby #2. It is so much fun!

Janssen said...

Also, go right ahead and snuggle all the hundreds of dollars you are saving by not going to Alt.

stephanie hammer said...

not kidding, sam i feel the same way! things are too boring around here, or so i think. but who needs alt summit? haha, we can have our own donut party and watch the super bowl again except this time we won't be awkward like we were last time. deal?

lex said...

ha, i'm feeling the same way with all these people at parties at alt. pajamas are where it's at anyway! :)

so excited for you and your new sweet babe! glad you're feeling good and wahoo for the 2nd tri!!


Anonymous said...

You're back and that makes me happy, happy.

Congrats again on the blessing of having a second baby!

Esther said...

So glad to see you back! I've been a silent follower, but I always enjoyed your words!
Congratulations on baby number 2!

Emily W said...

What I want to know is what Betta thinks the baby is! Congratulations on the second pregnancy. My 4 year old loves watching the video of Hero.

Jessica Pieper said...

So happy to see you blogging again and extra happy for baby #2!

And I'm sorry to hear you are feeling bummed by comparing yourself to others (we can all relate) because I absolutely LOVE your photography work. The interactions and real emotions you capture with your clients is truly art.

mary elizabeth said...

amen, sista.

i just wrote a post similar to this on my blog last week. oh the woes we woman put ourselves through!

like every one else has said, you are amazing and love your blog and you! i say we forget all about Alt and through ourselves a donut + dance party! :)

mary elizabeth said...

uh, i meant throw! not through... oops! :)

Andrew and Ariel said...

Congratulations! It just gets easier! Well, even if it doesn't, it's better to believe it does :) xo!

Emily Baker said...

gah!!! congratulations!!! i miss your writing too!!

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