today you are 6 weeks old. you woke up from your early morning nap and were all smiles.
you've always been a happy girl, smiling from day 2, but this morning was different. this morning felt like the first time that you really recognized me and were smiling because you were looking at me, your mom. and when you heard my voice, you'd smile even more. it was so fun to get to play with you for the first time like that.
then i picked you up and held you in my arms in the rocking chair.
lately, when you're awake, you haven't loved being cuddled close but would much rather be held while sitting or standing. i've missed our cuddle time but love that you wanna do your own thing, too. but this morning, you let me just hold you close and sing to you. your favorite is "come what may" from moulin rouge (don't judge mommy). next, i started singing one of my favorite primary hymns, "i'm trying to be like jesus." you like that one too, although not as much as the one from moulin rouge. anyways. as i was singing, i was suddenly overcome with such a strong feeling of clarity and love. in that moment, life seemed so simple. so wonderfully simple. i came to a new understanding about life and my own role as a woman and a mother. it's all about love. love and making good choices. i felt so grateful for where i am in my life and the choices i've made to get to this place. to take care of you every day. to show more genuine love and kindness to those around me. to be happy with myself and what i can contribute to the world.
i loved you so much in that moment, sweet girl.
and the tears came.