new challenges

it's funny how every season of your life seems to have its own separate challenges.

being a mother is everything i thought it would be. i love that i get to spend every day taking care of this little person who smiles when she sees me and can now "talk" to me with her coos. those baby sounds are the sweetest sounds in the world. and don't get me started on her cheeks. i could just chew on those all day.

sometimes i feel sorry for chas that he gets to only spend two hours with her after work before it's her bedtime. but sometimes, i envy him.

sometimes it's really hard staying at home all day and not being able to jump in the car and go be among adults in the outside world. hero sleeps all morning and when she's awake in the afternoon, it's often too blazing hot outside to even leave the house for a short walk. so the days can feel long and lonely.

and then there's the dilemma of how to best spend my time when she's asleep. like yesterday morning, she took a five hour nap. so much time to myself can be both awesome and kinda terrible. awesome because i can take a shower, get ready for the day, do any chores around the house that need to get done, blog, etc. but kinda terrible because after i do all those things, she's still asleep and i still have plenty of time on my hands.

i hate feeling like i'm wasting time or being lazy so i started making a fun little variation on a scrapbook for hero (which i may be posting a tutorial for soon!). but when your baby isn't even three months old yet, there are only so many pages i can fill before i run out of pictures. so, for now, that project is at a stand still.

then i move on to my books. but i'm not one of those people who can sit and read and read and read for hours. i do what i can, though.

so back to yesterday's five hour nap. i kinda sorta hit an embarrassing all-time low in my desperation for something to do while she slept. i'm not even sure how this happened but all of a sudden, i found myself watching hair and makeup tutorials on youtube. and not just any tutorials- tutorials made by a teenage punky "scene queen" with rainbow brite colored hair, diy extensions, and huge fake eyelashes. (have i told you about my secret desire to have cotton candy pink hair?). yup. this is full-disclosure right here, guys.

the good news is if you ever get invited to a rave and just aren't quite sure how to do your hair/makeup/outfit properly for such an occasion, you know who to call. i'll even throw in a few glow sticks for ya.

anyways. has anyone else ever wasted way too much time in a semi-shameful way and then kinda hated yourself afterwards? or is it just me?

speaking of hair...

another challenge of motherhood is the postpartum hair loss. for someone who didn't have thick hair to begin with, it freaks me out to see the massive amounts of hair being lost every stinkin day. yiiiiiikes!

moral of the story?

even though things are getting a little bit weird at times over here, life is still glorious. the challenges are comparatively small. the joy is abundant.

and i'm even learning some new (re: basically useless) skills! ;)