sometimes being at home all day by myself can start to eat away at me. i try my best to work around hero's nap schedule and get out of the house whenever i can but sometimes it just doesn't happen and the isolation and loneliness bubble up to the surface.
and it's a tricky feeling to feel sad about staying at home, taking care of my baby. i know i am so lucky to be a mom, have such a sweet, healthy little girl, and to get to stay home and be the one who takes care of her and loves her 24/7. i am truly so, so blessed.
i don't want to be ungrateful.
i'm trying my best to find ways to be productive during this time (our film business and writing my book). and then there are times when i just want to take advantage of this quiet, slow pace of life that hero and i live right now and stay in my jammies until 2pm- which i definitely do from time to time. but, in the midst of everything, there are still days that feel long, boring, and alone.
so i got pretty sad last night.
chas asked if i wanted to plan a little getaway trip with my mom and sisters. he told me how much he appreciated all i do for our girl, what a great mother i am, and his desire to support me in any way he could.
and he made me pancakes for breakfast.
i love him so much.
i feel better today. good, not great. i'm trying to focus on the positive and be grateful for every moment.
there are different benefits and different challenges with every season in life. and it's ok to be sad about the challenges.
the sadness always goes eventually and tomorrow is a chance to feel better.