Thursday, January 3, 2013

joy




today, my little sister, rosie, was over at my house. i was helping her edit together some wedding video footage she shot for a friend. she was being the cutest aunt and taking such good care of hero so i could work on the video. we finished the film, she was packing up to leave, and i was making a bottle in the kitchen for hero.

then she asked me, "is it hard sometimes?" 

i knew exactly what she meant but i still asked, "what do you mean?" 

she smiled a little, then i smiled a little and said, "you mean, is it hard staying here at home all day, every day?"

she nodded. 

"yes. yes, it is," i told her. "sometimes it is hard." 

and you know what's funny? we always want what we don't have. every season in our life is "hard sometimes" in its own way. 

being newly divorced and single was hard sometimes. 
being an art therapist was hard sometimes. 
being a college professor was hard sometimes. 
not being a mother was hard sometimes. 
being pregnant was hard sometimes. 
being a mom is hard sometimes. 

and, yes, staying at home all day is hard sometimes. 

being a stay-at-home mom is a totally different pace and lifestyle than anything else i've ever done in life. before hero, i was always working- usually more than one job. now my job is here, at home, taking care of my baby. this new job brings me unimaginable joy and, honestly, so did teaching college and working as an art therapist. the joy and satisfaction gained through all three roles- mom, teacher, therapist- is each a different and unique kind of joy but still each very real and important to me.

the key, for me, has been to try and focus on the type of joy i have NOW and resist yearning for types of joy i've had in the past. 

so right now, today, i'm choosing to love the joy of spending the day in yoga pants, talking all day to the sweetest baby alive, and ending the day with mint-painted nails and a hot bubble bath soak. 

THIS is the joy of my life now. 

10 comments:

Dana Staples said...

amen. my first baby is 1 this month and I think one of things that's helped me adjust and be happy more than anything else is remembering that my grass isn't always greener. It's just what you said--we need to resist yearning for the other types of joy we've experienced at different times in our life because we can't experience them all at once!

I've never commented, but I love your blog! oh, and once I saw you at city creek and had a funny celebrity moment when I realized why I recognized you :) thanks for keeping it real

Lauren Cooper said...

Love this post. And was something I really needed to read. Thank you for sharing your thoughts so openly. Things really are hard sometimes. But they always get better and then something else will happen that will make it hard again. So its important to focus on the happy and the joy in life at whatever moment you are in. You are an inspiring person! Oh and you have one seriously adorable baby!
xoxo

Samantha said...

Great post girly! Loved reading it:) BTW the pics of little hero were adorable :)

little said...

those cheeks!!

life gets rough. i love how you said it.

romantically challenged

Abby (Diligent Joy) said...

Oh boy. She is beautiful. I have been sort of MIA in the blogging world and am just now finding time to catch up on my favorite blog spots. The last time I read your blog, you were pregnant. Now you have this perfect daughter. She is lovely and totally precious. And I love her name. Congrats to you guys (times 1098347). : )

Amy said...

Ah I just love this post. You are so hard, every season of life is hard sometimes. There are always going to be things we are looking ahead to in the future, maybe things changing or something new that we're hoping for, but looking ahead takes our eyes off of what is right in front of us. I want to do my best to focus more on the good that is right in front of me right now.

Maria said...

This is so sweet. Though being a stay at home mom may be hard sometimes, I feel like it'll be really worth it. Hero is absolutely beautiful.
xo, Maria

sarah marie said...

Yes, you're so right, each season has its joys and its difficulties. I was working and a full time grad student .... walked at my master's commencement and then went into labor that night! :) This is a new season and has its joys, but also those moments of "I've been changing diapers and staring at my baby and talking baby talk all day... I have got to get out of the house!" So worth it, though.

Lexie Loo, Lily Boo, and Dylan Too! said...

Great post! She is adorable!

::The Beetle Shack:: said...

Such wisdom in your perspective.

YOu've just exactly explained life and motherhood.

Life is hard sometimes, fact.

Motherhood is draining (often) but awesome (often).

xo em