here-and-now

i've been thinking a lot lately about being happy, comfortable, satisfied, and grateful in the life i've been given. chas and i are truly blessed. we have so much.

i remember our first tiny apartment in the avenues in salt lake city. we'd often lay in bed and just talk about how lucky we felt to live in such a fun and charming little spot in utah. how we loved taking long walks around our neighborhood and enjoying the amazing, historical houses all around us. how we adored the unique victorian-style church building we attended just across the street from the cemetery in which many prophets of our church are buried. how we'd go for rides on our little scooter in the fall and it felt like a page inside a fairy tale as we whizzed past the swirling autumn leaves and underneath canopies of tree-lined streets.

all of this, and yet, there were many times that i just yearned for more- different things than what we had been given.

and now we are owners of our first home. it's a beautiful, perfect house for us right now. and, just as before, we often lay in bed and just talk about how lucky we feel to have found such a nice place in such a wonderful neighborhood. how we love getting to know so many kind young families all around us. how we can see the bountiful temple from our living room window and how beautiful it is all lit up and glowing on the mountainside at night. how there are a gazillion little girls exactly hero's age and the elementary school is two blocks down the street. how we love being close to our families and don't have to miss out on fun get-togethers ever. how happy it's made me to be able to finally have a place to really call our own as i've painted, decorated, and dreamed up plans for future improvements.

all of this, and yet, there have been times that i still wanted more- different things than what we have been given.

last night, there chas and i were once again, laying in bed and talking. talking about our life and our future. we talked about how we don't want our life to pass us by without ever having been adventurous together. and although we love this house, this place, and this time in our lives, it's hard for us to think of living in utah- and only utah- for the entirety of our lives.

we decided if there's anywhere we'd want to live or raise a family outside of utah, it would be portland, oregon. i lived in oregon for three years during my time in grad school and then, a few years ago, chas and i took a trip to oregon together. during that trip, i fell in love with that wonderful state for the millionth time and chas was right there with me, head over heels for it all.

so what if...what if, in five years or so, we just decided to find a job in portland and move? daydreams of family weekend drives to the coast, exploring portland, and the beautiful, vibrant green everywhere quickly ensued. and, i'll have to admit, it was definitely fun to talk about all that with chas. we even started looking up production companies and real estate. simply thinking about the possibilities felt exciting and adventurous. we made a pinky promise that we'd be adventurous in our life together, turned out the lights, and fell asleep.

i kept thinking about it all this morning. and i've come to some conclusions.

i don't think it's bad to make plans for the future or have goals, hopes, and dreams. i'm a huge goal-setter and need to have things i'm working towards in order to feel fulfilled. but i also don't want to be the kind of person that's blinded by my future plans so that i can't ever fully LIVE in the moment and LOVE every bit of my present moment.

and, truth be told, i've truly never been more completely happy and satisfied than i am at this stage in our lives. really. we have a beautiful home in a dream neighborhood with family close by. chas has a good, steady job. my book is published. i'm learning more and more about photography and seeing my own creative goals come to fruition which is exhilarating. we have an amazing, crazy, darling little girl and another baby on the way. life is so, so good.

it'll be fun to see what the future holds and it's equally fun soaking up all the goodness of the here-and-now. there is goodness to be found wherever you are, whatever stage of life you're in. let's open our eyes, really SEE it, and don't miss it.