Tuesday, May 4, 2010

of late

The biggest news of the day is that after almost two months of a bare left ring finger, my ring is back where it belongs. On my left ring finger, that is. The only, and I mean only, downside of a beautiful vintage ring from your husband's darling grandma is that all the prongs were worn down and had to be rebuilt. So we started saving up the monies and, in the meantime, I took it off my finger for safe keeping. A part of me wondered if I would just get used to not wearing a ring again. But I didn't. I don't think a day went by without glancing down at that finger and feeling a little sadness and longing inside myself. But the sparkle is back, my friends. Now I'm looking down and feeling giddy happy. It's so pretty.

Other news of late is that I've been thinking a lot about getting more education. You know, like a PhD. Yikes. Sometimes I think I'm crazy, and I might be just a little bit. There seems to be something inside me that thrives off of constant motion and change. This leads to getting a Master's degree just as I turn 24, being really efficient when I want to, working hard and then harder still, and building courage. All these are good things. What the Energizer Bunny mentality makes difficult is living in the moment. Even when the moment is totally and completely wonderful, I catch myself looking forward to the next big thing, the next challenge. Chas is supportive. He loves me. He encourages me to pray about it and I know he'd be there for me 100% if I decided to take the PhD plunge. So I keep thinking about it, weighing the pros and cons. The thing is, I'm not sure wanting to get a PhD is even really about getting a PhD. I think it's more about ego (let's be honest), proving to myself that I can do it (why do I play this game?), and having a hard time with just being...still. Perhaps therein lies a challenge that is, in some ways, greater than becoming Dr. Kelly. Being 100% present in the here-and-now and living mindfully.  

Oh yeah, and the Beehive Bazaar opens tomorrow night at Thanksgiving Point.


Andrew and Ariel said...

The ring looks beautiful!
And a PhD--Awesome! Go for it!!

candace said...

i think there are probably a lot of things harder than getting a PhD...not that I've gotten one :)

Meg and Joe said...

I feel ya on the PhD thing. I've often thought, "Will I ever feel like I've accomplished all I can school wise? And, if I am capable of getting a PhD, then why wouldn't I?" But, I guess it comes down to what you are doing, and that is praying and fasting about it. It's not looking good in other's eyes. It's about looking good in the Lord's eyes. And that's been a hard lesson for me to learn.

Jason and Kelly said...

I start thinking the same thing! I'm pretty sure I wouldn't do anything in the future that actually requires a PhD, but sometimes I just like to think of the accomplishment it would be to have Dr in front of my name. eek. Plus to get it all accomplished before age 26 would be preeetty sweet. plus i keep hearing GA quotes about getting all the education you can... tough decisions! and I love you ring by the way.