Sunday, November 16, 2014

my golden graham

I remember time feeling slower with Hero. Every month felt like 2 or 3 months and I got to do almost nothing all day but soak her in. She was my whole world- all day, every day.

Goldie will be 4 months old on Tuesday this week. I can't even believe how fast these 4 months have whizzed by. She's rolling over, sitting up in a Bumbo, giggling, and growing out of her clothes like crazy. Being a mom of two is worlds different than being a mom of one. There aren't enough hours in the day to do all I want to do. I'm so busy caring for Hero. I read to her, play with her, feed her, change her, take her to the library, the aquarium, build forts with her, dance with her, and talk, talk, talk to her. And then there's cleaning the house, laundry, dishes, grocery shopping, dinner, etc, etc, etc. Oh yeah, and photography. Goldie's in that heavenly baby world of sleeping lots. For the few hours a day she is up, she's just content being by Hero and I, taking it all in. 

Sometimes I feel like I'm missing Goldie grow up a little. Obviously, I love both my girls with all my heart but how am I supposed to divide my time equally between the two when one is a toddler who needs lots of attention and help (as all toddlers do) and one is a little baby who sleeps and lays quietly and simply observes? Goldie is coming up on my most favorite baby stage (4-6 months old) and I just want to fully BE there for every bit of it. I don't want to miss it. 

I think I'll start praying about that. How to be more fully in the moment with BOTH girls, help with discerning their individual needs, and having the energy, strength, and time management to try and give them each what they need most every day. 


mommaruthsays said...

Goldie is just so adorable, those little smiles (and her rolls!) are too cute!

Being present is definitely something I constantly struggle with balancing my crew, but I find peace with myself when I can dedicate time, even if it's only two minutes, to each one of them.

Sometimes a solid two minutes are worth more than a distracted twenty minutes!

Janssen said...

I so remember this feeling with my second - I felt like I was such a poorer parent to her than I was with my first.

But now that she's a little older and more engaged, I don't feel that nearly so much anymore.

Those girls are so lucky to have you for their mom!