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sam, chas, and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

We hated this past Saturday. As soon as we woke up, everything started to go wrong and basically continued throughout the day. When the movie we were watching froze up in the last 10 minutes, we decided to go to bed just so the day would be over with.

That grumpy face says it all.

But, somehow, you know everything is going to be ok when your pizza just happens to be kinda heart-shaped. (Even though Chas burned his thumb taking it out of the oven.)

shredding together

Two Brighton lift tickets- probably one of our most favorite wedding gifts.

Please notice my half scared-y face in this picture. That's because I am about to go skiing for the first time in...twelve years.

Chas, on the other hand, is the coolest snowboarder on the block.

Don't be fooled, I'm going crazy fast down that hill.

You should also know this is the first real physical activity of any kind that my body has experienced in...I don't even know how long. You can bet I'll be feeling the pain tomorrow. Worth it?

 Yup.

when a door closes...

I should have finished this one last week but it was giving me some troubles so I had to take a little break from it. Luckily, it decided to start behaving itself today.

thoughts on being grown up

Yesterday I felt like...a real person. You know, the kind that people call an "adult?" And not just any adult, like a real adult with a real, well I guess it's really two real jobs. 

I don't know if I'll ever fully process the fact that I. teach. college. Sometimes I feel as if I'm there just as a student (only, except I don't think I could ever really consider myself a UVU student, let's get real) and that I'm presenting a group project or something for the day. And then, as I'm talking, all of a sudden I realize that everyone is in their seats staring intently up at me, listening and taking notes like they are actually learning from what I'm saying. And then, for a brief moment, I see the situation for what it really is- I, yes I, am their teacher- and it's that realization that takes my breath away just a little bit. 

It's kinda the same thing that happens when I'm leading the family group on the adolescent unit. Only it's the parents who are looking so intently at me, like they trust me to help them and their children. Woah. Moments like those, while generally fleeting, sort of shake me to my core and I think to myself, "I hope you know what you're doing, Sam, for the sake of all these students/parents/patients." In those few seconds, sometimes I doubt myself and sometimes I feel very young and even a little scared. But they are only seconds. The rest of the time I find that I surprise myself. I find that I really do know what I'm doing. 

The other day, I was thinking of how strange it is what I've chosen to do with my life. I was rather shy and quiet growing up. Now, every day, I stand up in front of different groups of people as the one in charge, the leader. Something really happened to me between then and now. Now, I enjoy public speaking. I am not afraid of confrontation. I am assertive. I am smart. I am capable. 

Now, I am an adult.

I have decided

that today is going to be a good day because: 

1. We are buying a scootie. 

2. The coolest acupuncturist guest speaker is teaching one of my classes. Her demonstrations on students are seriously insane. 

3. We are paying off Honey. 

I've also decided that I am tired of starting every post with "Dear..." Time to mix it up.

Dear Monday,

I get why a lot of people hate you. Especially your mornings. But, truth be told, you're not so bad, kid. 

I think it helps that I l.o.v.e. my art therapist job. 

Also, there's that whole thing about feeling that my work as a student therapist in grad school was appreciated fully by my clients but not so much by some others, shall we say. (Just a small chip on my shoulder...what?) But then I graduate and start working for realz and all of a sudden I am so...loved. It's been a long time coming but the recognition is worth the wait. And today, dear Monday, I had two such tender mercies that helped to reaffirm that, yes, I AM a good therapist. 

So there.  

Dear self,

The spring Beehive Bazaar is just around the corner. It's at Thanksgiving Point this time around and even has an extra, VIP night with food and live music. It seems our little Bazaar is getting more and more legit these days. Speaking of legit, apparently I have to get myself a business license (wha??).

So here's the deal. I need to crank out a bunch of original paintings before then. My goal is to have at least 7 originals done, ready to sell. That means one painting a week. I've got numero uno down and out of the way and have made great progress on Mr. #2 this afternoon.

No slacking.

Dear Chas,

I love your guts. Yesterday, I ended up getting called into a full day's worth of work at the hospital and didn't get home until 8:30pm. You greeted me at the door with a twirling hug and announced that dinner was ready. And what had you made? Oh, you know, just the most yummy four-cheese fettuccine alfredo with sauteed mushrooms and fresh, blue cheese salad on the side. No big deal. As we ate, you had me glance around the corner into our bedroom to proudly show me you had made the bed so nicely. All by yourself.

Goodness gracious, you are quite the find, Mr. Kelly.

Dear diary,

Just a few of my favorite things right now.

First, and foremost, is this little scootie scoot. We're going to check it out on Friday and I hope, I hope we get it. The weather is suddenly oh so springy and what a better way to celebrate than with this sweet ride?

We spotted a wheaton terrier pup last week and I. just. about. died. with. cuteness. Ask Chas, I'm still recovering.

Someday, I'll call one of these baby bears my very own. Mark my words.

In other happy news....

Chas calls my cold hands/feet "coldy paws."

It's UVU's spring break this week which means no teaching until next Tuesday.

Chas gets to snowboard tomorrow. I get to ski (which I haven't done since I was twelve...yikes).

My day today will consist of a bubble gum bubble bath, painting, and leading the inpatient adolescent family group this evening.

It's going to be a good day.

Dear snow day Saturday,

You were wonderful. And all thanks to unexpectedly not having to go into work. 

It was a snow storm all day (what the?) and so we did what any good snow day requires...play, play, play! This was accomplished in only 10 easy steps: 

Step 1: Sleep in. 

Step 2: Research scooters for sale (we are in the market...more to come on that quite soon, I'm sure!)

Step 3: Eat the most amazing cheeseburgers, onion rings, and frosty mug root beer the state of Utah has to offer at Hires Big H. Chas is obsessed. 

Step 4: Return a wedding gift and use the money to buy a killer throwback Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle graphic T-shirt for myself and some flip flops for the Mr. 

Step 5: Receive exactly $2 in change from the cashier upon checkout.

Step 6: Use those $2 to see The Blind Side at the dolla holla theater. 

Step 7: LOVE that movie. 

Step 8: Return home and decide to let the trip to the grocery store wait until Monday. 

Step 9: Put on your jammies and eat a little too many chips and warm salsa con queso.

Step 10: Don't worry about writing your talk to give in Sacrament meeting the next day because you already have one written on the topic.

Snow days are the best days (especially when all the snow is melted and gone by the next afternoon).

Dear Dave Matthews and Millie,

Thanks for being my inspiration.

+

DMB's song, "You & Me"

=

Dear diary,

Can I just say how much I adore my husband? Because I'm pretty sure I almost happy-cried a few moments ago as I was in his arms, up off the ground (as usual).

I've been working on a painting the last two days, finishing it tonight. And when I say I've been working on it for two days, I mean 5 hours. I don't know how it happened but the stars must have aligned because I pumped that puppy out and it's basically become my most favorite painting. But all that is beside the point. The point is

I love Chas.

Never before have I had someone who is almost as completely invested in my artistic process as I am. He was there every step of the way through this painting. He helped me to keep going when I needed motivation. He was my sounding board as I brainstormed different directions to take the painting. He suggested colors. He encouraged me to keep pushing the art further until it was another and then another step better than it was before. And when it was finished, and I was jumping around the living room in satisfaction/pride, he was right there, jumping and yelling for joy with me. They are all little things, really, but the way he supports me and my art is so...happy.

Please don't think that it's an amazingly amazing masterpiece. Because it's not. But to me, held within it is my love for my husband which makes it even better than all that.

Dear January 30th,

You were the bestest of best days. I've never ever felt so completely overflowed with happiness. And now, thanks to our great pal and photographer, Duston Todd, we can remember everything about you perfectly!

Wish you could have there, Sister missionary Hailey!